Silence Within

Today I subbed my face into a pillow and cried and cried and cried and cried and the only way I could get myself to stop was to scream into my pillow, so that I could finish purging myself of the load I had within. 

I can't allow myself to feel that again. I must get back to that safe place I was once in.I remember, expecting nothing and when I got nothing, I was fine with it. That place within me that was numb and content. I have got to get a grip. I have got to lock myself away. Being alone with my thoughts will help to defuse, organize priorities and maintain a healthy balance. I want to be numb again. My emotions have meant nothing. I'm going to search for that numb feeling and hold it tight. It cant be that far from here. Feeling what I truly feel have proven to be meaningless. Being passionate and sensitive are like being invisible (very lonely).

So, Enough! I need time to hear the silence within my own soul.